I am
currently in the role of assistant coach for the girls’ basketball team at my
school. The other coach and I have very different ideas about coaching and our
styles do not jive. I am a very linear thinker and need to have things planned
out and organized in order to feel comfortable while the other coach is able to
do things with less structure and organization. As I mentioned previously in
this course, I am a person who does not like confrontation and as a result,
sometimes I shy away from voicing my opinion.
In order to confront this situation in a way that would
remain positive and would achieve my overall goals I looked to both the 3 R’s
and the principles of nonviolent communication in order resolve this conflict. As
stated in Corso’s text, healthy relationships are created through respect and
open communication they “…do not come automatically but are instead built over
a period of time through respectful, reciprocal, and responsive interactions”
(Corso, 2007). I believe that for this very reason I should plan out what I
want to say so that it remains respectful and does not seem like a personal
attack. I also need to ensure that I after I present my opinion in a way that
is constructive, respectful and concise, that I ensure that I take the time to
listen to his ideas and opinions as well. This means really listening to his
ideas and not just formulating a rebuttal during our discussion. O' Hair, D.,
& Wiemann, M. (2012) explain these two forms of listening as “monopolistic
listening” under the category of selfish listening. I need to be sure that I am
prepared to listen to and consider my co-worker’s ideas and opinions in this
situation in order to solve this problem. The final strategy I learned about
from this week’s readings that I can put into place in this situation is to state
what I want in a way that is clear, rather than what I do not want (The Center
for Nonviolent Communication, n.d.). Finally, I believe that it is important to
give someone notice that I would like to speak to him one on one at his
convenience. That way he can choose a time and place that is convenient for him
and does not feel like his back is up against the wall.
References
Corso, R. M. (2007). Practices for enhancing children's
social-emotional development and preventing challenging behavior. Gifted Child
Today, 30(3), 51–56. Retrieved from http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://proquest.umi.com.ezp.waldenulibrary.org/pqdweb?did=1303084331&sid=1&Fmt=4&clientId=70192&RQT=309&VName=PQD
O' Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication.
New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center
for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from www.cnvc.org
2 comments:
Hi Rhiannon,
My thoughts exactly. I too am going through something at my job with a conflict in doing what is right. Therefore I plan on going back to my director with the upmost respect if asked again to do something that is against my best judgment in doing what is right. Although the director stated that she would take full responsibility if something went wrong, I still feel it is not right to ask someone to do something that they know they should not be doing. However I would explain to the director that I fully understand her situation, therefore I wish she would also take mine into consideration as well.
Hello Rhiannon,
I feel like you do, I like to avoid conflict in any way possible and sometimes this causes me to be closed in and not voice my opinion. I really think that the 3 R's are very important in effective non confrontational communication. I have found that when you show respect and think of respecting the ideas and opinions of the other party early on then you will not have as many issues in voicing your side. I think treating others the way you would like to be treated is really important in effective communication. Everyone's ideas are valid and should be treated as such.
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